Hump de Bump: Of Lampooning the Gold Gloves

Wednesdays suck. The taint of the work week or school week can drag on forever... but the weekend looms with promises of sweets. To help get you through this day of days, we present you with links (the "Bumps") to other sites that put up awesome content from the past few days. Hopefully this reading provides momentary respite.

Oh look, the AL Gold Glove winners were announced yesterday! What a surprise, there are results that piss me off! I'll let the smarter folks handle this one though...

Via Ghostrunner on First: Baseball's Racist Grandparents Award Torii Hunter a Gold Glove

Via Walkoff Walk: The Second Annual Walkoff Walk Gilded Leather Awards

Via MLB Trade Rumors: Dierkes offers his list of the Top 50 Free Agents and their likely destinations.

Via Wezen Ball: At the (Baseball) Movies With Roger Ebert

Via Big League Stew: The 10 Most Memorable Moments of the 2009 Playoffs

And it's called "Hump Day" for a reason, so without further ado, your humptastic female of the week.

This week it's Candance Swanepoel. You can probably already guess the play on words I'd make here. So I'll skip it.

Sure, I'd take Jason Bay

But only at the right price and for the short term. No more than 4 years, or the Canadian can take his pasty skin and Canadian-ness elsewhere. Why Bay? Everyone knows he's a defensive nightmare and I love me some good run saving, so am I just totally running counter to my already established beliefs? Well, yes and no. For starters, my liking of him stems from the fact that he's not Matt Holliday.

I don't deny that Matt Holliday could hit in the AL, but his tenure in Oakland was wholly underwhelming when it came to proving that fact. Moreover, the terms of the Holliday deal are a bit worrisome. He's demanding a 6 year deal, by most accounts, which would mean he'd be 36 when the contract is up. His defense is certainly nothing special either, but the problem of moving him to DH is that the Yankees will have other players in 6 years' time that might need to make a similar shift. Alex Rodriguez comes to mind on that front. Or Derek Jeter depending on how long he is resigned for when that time comes. So in that respect, the Yankees might get stuck with a logjam at DH, or be forced to trot another creaky-kneed LF out on a regular basis. That's frightening to me.

Bay though is rumored to be demanding a contract more oriented on the short-term and for fewer dollars. Say the Yankees give him a 4 year deal? He'd still be old when the deal came due, but the four years (rather than 6) would give the Yankees a bit more a bubble when it comes to their aging players having to transition away from playing the field.

Plus, Bay has proven he can hit in the AL, boasting a fantastic .397 wOBA in his first full year with Boston. Coupled with his ability as a run producer (34.9 RAR in 2009), he could immediately fill the lineup hole left by a departing Hideki Matsui. Plus, he's less of an injury risk than Matsui and that's automatically quite appealing.

Now, the Yankees can deal with his defensive situation in two ways, I think:

1.) Re-sign Johnny Damon , who can at least boast of having "range," and stick him out in LF as a platoon with Bay in that position and also at DH. This would require hoping the combination of Brett Gardner and Melky Cabrera can help to cover up any defensive inadequacies; however, it would also allow for the Yankees to keep their productive top of the order from 2009 with Bay now in the number 5 spot.

2.) Don't resign Damon. Move Melky to left, Gardner in center and Bay as the DH/part-time leftfielder. This is obviously the better defensive outfield, but the loss of Damon and the full-time addition of Gardner to the batting order could mean a lot less runs scored for the Pinstripes.

What do you think?

The Men Who Stare At Javier Vazquez

One non-Roy Halladay rumor that has been circulating fervently around MLB has been the idea that the Braves will be looking to move Javier Vazquez. On the whole, this would seem to make little sense, as Vazquez was nothing short of awesome for the Braves in 2009? How awesome? He fanned an awesome 238 batters and boasted an ERA of 2.87 that was actually higher than his FIP (2.77) for the year. That's straight up dealing.

So why are the Braves looking to move him rather than say, Derek Lowe? It's rare that you see teams looking to deal one of their best pitchers who could have been even better. Moreover, Lowe had by far the more disappointing season and he costs the Braves a lot more money. Therein probably lies the problem, it would seem. While dealing Lowe makes more sense from preserving talent standpoint, he is virtually unmovable because of his salary.

So trading Vazquez solves the Braves surplus pitching problems, and they could hopefully land a much larger package of cost-controlled talent by moving him. In essence, they would be selling high on Vazquez (2009 was undoubtedly his best year) and may get a team to part with more talent. You have to wonder if that move would endear GM Frank Wren to any Braves fans though. The Braves match up well with the Phillies from a pitching standpoint, especially if Jair Jurrjens and Tommy Hanson continue their studly ways so seeing the Braves in the playoff hunt isn't out of the question. Vazquez might actually put them over the top of their division foes in that category from a pure "on paper" standpoint, so you have to wonder if moving Vazquez falls in line with the goal of returning to the playoffs.

If Vazquez is on the move, he better well net a bat in return, because that's what the Braves really need. Otherwise the folks in Hot-lanta have a right to storm the castle.

Roy Halladay Hostage Situation Underway

The ticker tape from Friday's parade probably still hasn't been totally cleaned up and already the musings about whether Roy Halladay will be a Blue Jay are underway again. So much for easing into the offseason speculation.

A contract extension for Halladay is an unlikely scenario, considering that 2010 likely will be a stepping stone within a more long-term process for Toronto. It is more likely Anthopoulos will field trade offers for the pitcher this winter, and the young general manager indicated he is open to listening to proposals for any of his players.

"There are several players that I would be very reluctant to trade," Anthopoulos said. "That being said, I think I have to be open-minded to anything that can make this ballclub better going forward and better for the long-term. ... Roy's made it very clear that he wants to win, and we respect that and that's why we love him. He's as competitive as there is.

"He's probably one of the greatest, if not the greatest, Blue Jay to ever put on a uniform here. But he wants to win, and ... we were a 75-win team last year. We haven't met his criteria for winning, and we certainly don't fault him for that. We certainly want to win as well, and I think he stressed that his timeline for winning and ours may not mesh and may not match."

...

This winter, Anthopoulos said he plans on being more active on the trade front than with free agents. According to the 32-year-old rookie GM, Toronto needs to be able to win around 95 games each year to realistically contend in the AL East. Once the Blue Jays are closer to that goal and have a solid core in place, Anthopoulos will be more willing to consider spending more on the open market.

I'm sure this situation with Halladay will be resolved quickly though, unlike last time!

(dismissive jerking off motion)

Here's the bigger issue with Jays and Halladay. As I pointed out last offseason, the Jays could have netted a "larger" prospect return had they traded their righty ace with two years left on his contract instead of just one. Will the Jays be willing to part with Halladay for a theoretically smaller return in 2010? Or are they better off holding onto him for one last ditch effort and then taking the two draft picks when he signs elsewhere?

Bonus Content
If you want, check out my post at Walkoff Walk yesterday looking at the Carlos Gomez/ JJ Hardy swap. Weigh in on who you think won that deal. Or you can tell me to go eat a bag of dicks. Your choice.

Tuned Up: Six Barrel Shotgun

Here's your offseason musical kickoff to the work week. If nothing else this allows for me to impose my superior musical tastes on the masses. Now you may be asking, "What does this have to do with baseball?" To which I answer, "Fuck all." But you'll be hearing some good tunes regardless. Suggestions for next week's Tuned Up can be sent here. Or leave 'em in the comments.

This week, it's Black Rebel Motorcycle Club with "Six Barrel Shotgun." This is both an awesome song and it sounds like that would be a bitchin' weapon too.

Programming Note: We'll Be Back Next Week

We're still on the celebratory kick around these parts so there won't be any posts today.

As far as offseason coverage in general goes (MISS YOU BASEBALL!), we'll certainly still be here. Perhaps not on a daily basis because there is much less to talk about, but we're all about the regular content and hope you stick around to enjoy it.

We truly can't thank you enough for your support of this site!

And finally, I'll be over at Walkoff Walk this weekend so please do join me.

Until then, let The Offspring keep you company with "The Kids Aren't Alright."

Mission. Accomplished.

The New York Yankees are champions of baseball!

The Phillies deserve a lot of praise for a hard-fought series, and Chase Utley got absolutely jobbed in that MVP award. However, 2009 belongs to the Yankees.

Even I can't find statistics to quantify this. Just so awesome. Goodnight